The next step! Lets hurry it up already

[SmellsLikeSquirrel]

<u><b>The graduate.. 9Months on. . </b></u>

Hello to all , a quick post to stamp the <i>9months</i> after my glandular fever (ill call it that).I have been putting this off greatly<i> so its quite a long read .I hope there are some tips for you </i>

A quick recap: a 22yr old male computer science Graduate, after a month of <b>extreme work/partying</b> in the bitter cold month of December 2010, I came down with similar symptoms of glandular fever (be sure to get bloods done to be Sure its not anything else). What followed were typical PVF symptoms labeled by my GP . So quit the job(after a month of stubbornness on my part) & returned home to parents to take some time off. I will share just some<b> insights/tips/theories</b> to any new comers or just for a intruiging read of a PVF'er.
<b>
Dec 2010: The Virus and its friend </b>
I had a weird glandular fever type symptoms which crept in Nov/Oct; Blurred vision, red throat, loss of energy,loss of voice,excessive saliva,body couldn't warm up, odd twitches/cramps/,sore glands in throat/brain fog (worse symptom ever). It Slowly. And I mean slowly disappeared into March. My GP said he had only encountered one other guy like it before in his career, but not to worry. As my bloods were fine (albeit a slightly high cholesterol...i blamed subways) ^_^

Oddly enough, I didn't realize I had PVF until a GP mentioned it well into February. Saying my symptoms are a mere shadow of glandular fever that has been cast onto my health. SO. I was fine I guess?..well no.

I went boom/bust in February. With a crazy sense of 'ill shake it off' attitude, I entered work for a week (sales assist 9-6)..Also I lived in a flat and fended for myself (sorta). Needless to say I failed horribly. PVF obviously set my priorities straight. And swiftly made an exit plan to retreat back to the countryside with my parents in March . . .
<b>
2011: March : Home sweet home. </b>

And so began the healing journey of PVF. My war torn body emotionally and physically took its toll, and it was clear PVF needed a great deal of attention. I honestly believe, especially after such a demanding experience after an onset of a virus,<b> It is ideal you rest. </b>I recall, even developing chills, and blurred vision in the beginning,<i> I still went clubbing. Drank. And worked the next day with 2 hours sleep.</i> It was clear that I was heading for a decline into turmoil.

From March to June I really got in gear. But not a high one.. I couldn't walk more than 10minutes. I literally couldn't do any housework. My mental process was in disrepair. Oh, I shudder thinking about it. Even though I felt shut down, detached from reality, there was a tiny. And I mean tiny<b> flicker of light</b> deep down inside me. It manifested itself in short alleviations in mood, my 'desire' to become something , and also my innate urge to seduce (another story in itself).

Sure, they are few and far apart, but it was enough to keep me chugging along. So I formulated an Uber plan after some trial and errors. Based on the theory that the body has a natural rhythm that keeps it <i>ticking over</i>, hungry,happy,sleepy,sad,energetic,motivated,depres sed. They all have their place. PVF for me, disrupted this, and took the rule book and threw it out the window;

<b>The plan : Legs.</b>

Every day I woke up at 9 or 10 (regardless of what I felt like). and practiced some tricks with my dog. Yes, it was very.very hard at the beginning. I stood static in the garden while my dog darted in and out of my legs, almost saying 'come on Shane. I know you can do better'. These sessions lasted 10minutes in the beginning.

Back inside, I would just chill in my room. That little bit of outside exercise is a way to kick start the day. Its a means to say to your body/mind ; The day has started. Regardless of the down feeling after exercise. Its not boom/bust. As its short, and actually contributes very little to the feared 3-day rule in pvf. But its enough to tell you where you are at in recovery.


Keep to this regime strictly for 2-3months at the least. Along with all that life has to throw at you, this is the cornerstone of recovery (I think). And sleep early (although too early will cause early morning waking, 11ish for me provided I have aptly drained my energy )

I felt progression very quickly , but knew PVF was not all physical.

The real struggle is within mental health. How can you fix something, that has to do with the way your feelings are? Or even short term memory?..Vitamins,diet and old tricks all can play a vital role. But a sound mental health that has been disturbed by the imbalance of the body (be it glands producing varying levels of hormones, or simply the belief that you will not be able to go shopping as fear you will collapse).

You become detached, as a means to protect you from you. If you undermine your very beliefs that PVF has unearthed and thrown out, You need a means to recover and rebuild your mental health. At the start, I felt I looked at PVF very superficial manner. I work 3hours in the day. The next 2 days I feel like crap. I feel down. Depressed. Demotivated. For no reason. Ergo there is little control. Or belief of no control. This thought process inhibits recovery.

Not only it is your body and mind, it is yours to control. The idea is to build up your belief in you again , that has been smashed down by PVF. Belief will heal? No, its the drive to build up again that will regain control of your health. I once broke a rib in boxing , and convinced i couldnt box afterwards. even tho i was fine. Do no underestimate the power your mind has as it can invent worlds and create fears from nothing.

The morning exercise serves as a mental healer. You find reason to get up and churn out the 10minutes of wobbly legs, foggy brain inducing exercise. You will be set back, and the next day you will do the 10minutes just like any other day. For those 10minutes you stand for everything you have been, and will be in your future.

Increase the time where you see fit. Currently after 9 months I still get a little jittery, but can go 4-5hours on feet ok. And even has returned to Light light sparring in boxing. But after 9months period you no longer get the 3-day rule applied to you (in my case).

<b>Memory</b>

The superficial look. I cannot remember my password = I am losing my mind = Anxious about what other things you are able to forget. Tests out your amazing theory to find you cant remember Anything.

Really?

What you have done is taken a complex matter and broken it down to its simple form. We all experience STM (short term memory) loss due to PVF/and stress,anxiety,etc etc., but I felt it was irrelevant to any stage of my recovery.
Do not test if your memory is apt or not. It is pointless, and in no way means a benchmark for recovery.
For whatever reason, the brain has a reduced capacity for storing STM , be it numbers, text, pictures,faces. You are not going to die from this, neither will you turn into a lemon.
I learnt 2 new programming languages during my early onset of PVF. To put that in perspective, that's like learning another language with maths as the syntax. You memory is not affected, it is HOW you store the memory that determines your capacity/recall.

STM relies on capturing a piece of information, and storing it for Recall soon after. IF per say, you test out your memory by reading numbers, then trying to recall it, you will undoubtedly fail. Now science tells us we can only store 3 bits of info in our heads at one time, hence why we break up numbers for telephones to remember. 55552 3523 64. 3 chunks for ur brain to store in STM. PVF rids us/limits us of this ability. Guess what. Our long/medium term memory is alive and kicking. It is the reason why u remember your email address, and when the bins need taking out.

I feel I benefited greatly from semantic memory storing, allowing me to recall information precisely, with an associated meaning. For example; (nerdy bit), my keyboard has 6 extra buttons for my programming program. These buttons are labeled S1,S2,S3,S4,S5,S6. I have associated these buttons with an image, to recall the information on what the button does. E.g – S6 = I label as 6 , Scissors. As it looks like half scissors, and sounds similar, six/sciss (weird i know). Scissors Cut. Which is what this button does , Cut (does an operation in my program). By tagging the button with additional semantic information, your brain can file this away with a lot more 'tags' or 'triggers' that stimulates accurate recall. This works for anything, if you're studying, learning human anatomy (I now can recall over 40 muscles/bones in the human face, and tell you what their purpose is, and draw them at any orientation), or simply doing tasks at work.

Research this topic more for more detailed approach if you are serious about<b> staying productive during PVF</b>. PVF does not affect LTM. At all. STM comes and goes, LTM is here to stay so make use of it. I initially didn't realize I was learning just as much information during my degree, during PVF. Now obviously the fatigue times are quicker, so adjust accordingly. Also if your brain fog hasn't lifted (or eased up), then I found it obviously very hard to do any work (still watched documentaries and can still remember the facts in them, even tho I was a couch potato).

My point is<i>,don't fret so much on STM loss</i>, don't test it out, just accept that you cant remember where you put your keys and move on, because sooner or later you will have it back, and will feel like it never left to begin with (your STM, not keys =p). Do not dwell on it, and test out semantic memory as really PVF hasn't tampered with that wire at all. (altho I am eager to hear feedback).

<b>Zombies + Energy Management</b>

This links in with Drive/Motivation. Search deep down in yourself. Why bother getting up at all , cant we just sit in bed all day googling 'PVF help' and 'brain fog Help'. I guess so if you want to waste energies on that. For me I fell into that trap for a few months until I realized whether or not I googled for help, it didn't change much. Get it out your system, Google til your arms feel sore. Its a comfort zone that has little returns for you.
Then the next day, use your energies to better effect.

For marines, the ability to perform in harsh environments, with 100% at every task , with no sleep, have developed energy management system. They have pre pepared mental Zones; white,yellow,red and black (roughly) . White is effectively Zombie mode; They do not care of sounds, they are still, thoughtless, calm, relaxed. Almost 0 energy spent. No adrenalin. No alertness. Restful. It proceeds to red level where there is maximum alertness, adrenalin levels increased, ready for fight. The body and mind is allowed to truly 'Rest', fatigue levels are low because of this.

How does this relate? Easy. PVF thrives on your adrenalin levels, be it from anxiety, worriedness, physical excursion. My vague theory that this is related to the glands under your neck , which is why after super physical/mental excursion your glands will become notably sore from increased hormones . I notice it to this day (less frequently now) , and should only serve as a late reminder of what Zone you are in.

Know when to be to be in White mode.<b> Know when to switch off,</b> which is hard with a million thoughts racing through your head, but your mind should enter a state of 'Zombie'. Almost thoughtless, without care. This will manage your energy reserve, and allow your body to return insync. For me, I switch off befor I go to bed, my mind with a million thoughts enter a state of calm, I imagine a large soft fog, cloud like, descending over my thoughts, blocking anything , I just stare at clouds, hardly caring of my parents talk, or my brothers music, or my dog yelping. For everyone is different, and will need some ways to enter these zones. You will find once your mind is switched off, your body has a better time coping with less hormone levels . Meditation may work for some but it is all how you enter a state of nothingness. Reserve your tank of energy. And use your energy wisely.

<b>PVF oddities</b>

They occur especially in the beginning, where there is little knowledge of it, and you're basically walking into a extremely dense forest with a candle and a kitten. The oddities manifest themselves spontaneously, and disappear just as quick; spots one day, the next day numbness in your pinky finger. Browsing this site you will get a good idea of just How diverse PVF can be, and everyone will have a solution. I approached it in the sense...'well. Im still sticking to my plan'. It rarely phased me and if it did, its because it has the element of surprise, which is enough to unnerve anybody to the road to recovery. It seems very broad topic so I wont delve into much.

For me, I was actualy fighting a bad case of acid reflux. Brought on by tuna poisoning the previous year 2009. My stomach became So so sensitive to anything , I didnt eat much, and developed odd phobias iv never had while commuting/eating foods. It sounds strange but basically the reflux was triggering really bad reactions that I associated with external environments..so the train I normally ate on, but felt sick with the reflux. Then wenever I went onto a packed trained, I was scared that if I was sick I wouldnt be able to get out of the train. Etc etc.. SO when PVF came along, it pressed a Reset button on my reflux...and literally.....I am back to normal when it comes to eating (stil get occasional gas but no longer feel queezy or sick). SO thats my 'good' oddity. I need to re test the train phobia though. Might be associated with my Zones, as I also had my first panic attack during my reflux's, and learning to stay calm helped a lot. Very hard to do with such a physical symptom tho.

Bad oddities for me were seemingly endless, to white tongues,red throats, red spots on arms, twitching (altho is closely related to fatigue), sudden waves of down,night sweats, etc.

<b>My End thoughts and looking forward to 2012 </b>

Well, its been 9 months. A very testing 9 months that i'm sure for most of you have flown by. Currently starting a new job, first one since the onset of PVF. Daunting? Yes. Doable? Yes. Its a desk job , with 7hour days. 2Days off a week.
I have come pretty far, to being completely shut down, to doing 2-3 chores in the house, training my dog , driving all over the place, and socializing with friends and family. I still switch off at 11. And have been lax on getting up that early (waking up at 9 the day feels infinite now haha) , but now I feel adequate keeping up in the outside world. Energy management will help a lot in this job, and my pro-active brain stimulating studies have put a stamp on my mental abilities, I do not question it any longer, and somehow made myself bullet proof to anything involving learning.

Physically, I do question to this day. As I haven't tested being outside for 7 hours in a social/work environment. But all my mini-tests have proved vital importance in regaining my confidence . Plus a desk job is sitting on your ass all day haha. I do train occasionally as I do want to keep toned , but my abs are fading -sobs-.I shall get them back for next year I hope !

Soon it will have come full circle to where it all started, and to say this has been a roller-coaster of a ride is an understatement. Just remember its hella stormy waters out there, ride the waves of ups and downs until you see calm waters ahead. There is no quick fix, or how-to solution. Use everyday as an opportunity to explore yourself as a human being, your conscious thoughts,your drives, your fears, your perceived weaknesses and strengths.

Be careful not to associate PVF with other things in life, such as phobias and avoiding situations. I feel if you start tagging your PVF feelings to certain situations,the brain will manifest these problems as physical symptoms, long after PVF is gone/receeded. It is that heavy a situation, learn to differentiate, because psychology is a Huge factor in this, and will undoubtedly become your undo'ing if you leave this area unaddressed ( as i did for my broken rib)

Read a lot of papers on psychology, on memory, anxiety, . Keep your brain sharp if not your body(unless brain foggin up). Eat healthy, no crazy amounts of doughnuts!. Keep to your zones. Stay disciplined. For these will build up back up to the person you were, and get you back out in the world.

Many thanks to the PVF forum for the tips and shared experiences, and im happy for any feedback / comments/Pm's. Nice to see you all , and I will start the next phase of recovery: In the workplace. Ill post in a few months depending on how it goes (i start tomorrow). I wish everyone a great recovery and more importantly , the journey getting there.

-Shane
UK
<em>edited by SmellsLikeSquirrel on 11/9/2011</em>


--
The Rules are different for sasquatch.

[SmellsLikeSquirrel]

<b>1 month into the job</b>

working 3 days per week in an office. My early early starts seemed to have triggered a burst of energy that lasts through the better half of the day.
I didnt think i could last the 7 hour days but i think..if i behave and keep sensible in the social parts, i shud maintain a managable routine. i thought i was going boom+bust..but i hvnt felt the bust in 3 weeks (just mild dips)

ALthough a week ago i must have had a stomach bug (bad ass cramps for2 days + dehydration). Oh boy. I got wiped out energy-wise.my mind is stil switched on tho. just the limbs are weary n tired. i wonder how far back this will set my recovery?

Ah well. On ward n upwards.

Shaner-


--
The Rules are different for sasquatch.

[SmellsLikeSquirrel]

tiiiny update. hope everyone is well.

4-5 months into the office job and things are going good. altho last week i encountered Yet another type of stomach bug thing that left my mouth dry and zapped of energy. this one feels different to the previous one, as its very gradual and not a sudden a energy drop. people are dropping like flies at the office, urgh. mind is stil sharp and weirdly enough the 'sore glands' have faded away completely. feels weird not having them sore tbh haha.

most noticeably my legs and lower back feel somewhat weakened. i dont know if thats to lack of conditioning from sittin on my butt all day, but yes this bug is a doozy and will probably take another month to ride it out. with pvf everything is drawn out. also after the first bug, i had serious dips in mood, feeling super depressed for no reason, that lifted after a while , but was a serious wake up call that pvf was still present, albeit manifesting itself in different forms i wasnt used it.

my mum suggested to test for h.plyori as she had it, and also her mum had it before. also she has fibro but idk if that runs down the family. not feeling pain as so much a weakened sensation, altho......'feeling' weakened, is a far cry from 'being' weakened.

my office contract ends soon, idk about fulltime yet. as im still pursuing freelancing which will enable me to work from home (ideal situ). i dnt think f/t is possible yet. i think maybe another 6months of p/t to be reallllly sure.

oh and its hard to behave and not partay after hours but it makes me come across as the mysterious type which i enjoy haha.

Remember to enjoy the journey of recovery, and not just the destination!
-Shane

[rover8200]

really good read. thx very much for sharing that.

loved the PVF oddities bit. sooo true. I think about 2-3 months in with PVFS I hit the oddities wall with all sorts of wierd stuff. You get through those I think. The brain fog thing seems to be the thing that we all cant shift though.

[melanie]

Thanks Shane - I really feel for you getting this at 22 I've had PVF for 10 months now. The brain fog didn't last that long for me - only a few months (listen to me, time has new meanings in the land of PVF). I'm convinced magnesium oil spray helped that. Also I saw a nutritionist 3 months in and that was a big turning point. I went back to work full time 7 months in but actually had only a week off or 10 days of here and there in the preceding months. I'm sure the nutritionist was one of the key tricks here. Plus being a sergeant major about resting and not going out. Saying no to social engagements helped so much. Doesn't help my social life but it meant I could work. That said, at the 10 month mark, I am managing one social engagement per week so I'm seeing my friends again thank god.

Good luck with working (though i know it's nearly done) and thank god for family eh? Mine are 10,000 miles away in Australia so it's been Tesco online saving my ass