How do you cope minding your children

[elainee]

Hi all,
I'm new to this, but I have two year old twins that I don't feel I can look after by myself at the moment. My husband has been off work for the past three weeks, but he has to go back soon..don't know how I'm going to cope when he does...any advice?

[Init1972]

Hi Elaine,

I too am a mum but only of one who is now 6 years old but know what it is like to have to cope with this condition AND be responsible for another who can't cope for themself and it is HARD!

Best advice I can give is:
1) Ask ALL Friends and Family to help you out - are the Grandparents able to have the twins in the week whilst your husband is out at work and whilst you sleep?
2) REST, REST, REST - it's the ONLY way to start your improvement and you HAVE to get your GP to listen to you (Take the NICE Guidelines with you), test you for EVERYTHING and get a list of what they are testing for so you know what has or hasn't been done.
3) Can you afford Childcare - do you get Childcare element in Tax Credits so that the Twins are out of the house maybe 2 days a week to give you that 'Break' (say a Tuesday & Thurdsay) where you DON'T catch up on housework but you do little things in between resting properly - i.e. No internet for hours, not watching TV all day or Reading books for long periods - just small amounts of time until you find the right balance of things

I was soooo lucky that I have my Mum just 45 mins tube journey away and my M-I-L a 20 mins drive away who both took over for me, hoovering, dusting, Ironing, cooking & freezing and collecting my daughter from school - without them I don't know where I would be - I am still Moderately affected and unable to work but 2 years on I AM learning to Manage the condition better and understanding WHAT the signs are BEFORE I push too far - i'm not perfect though and I now know that nobody is!

I'm here if you need me but Facebook group is a better way to get in touch

Les <img src="images/smilies/biggrin.gif" border="0" alt="Big Grin" />

[Helena]

Accept help beigng offered to you without any added stress or tension, use the time to laugh and relax
I found it really hard to accept help and ask after people had offered, maybe thats why i became ill in the first place and couldnt fight off the virus
Regards, Helena


--
~Put your own oxygen mask on first~

[charlibug]

I'm a mum of a 2yr old and a 7 month old, I feel like i have missed out on so much of my youngest life, as I have been sick for most of it. I spend most days completley detached to my kids, as I dont have the energy to keep up with them, which upsets me dearly. Im learning every day how to care for my girls and care for myself, my husband too is at work while i'm at home with the kids. I try to get up early (more like force myself) out of bed before they wake up so I can get myself ready for the day at my own pace without kids running around under my feet. After lunch the girls have time out or a nap if they will allow it, so I can just have time out and relax, maybe read a book and have me time. I am learning that it is ok to ask for help, altho I am careful who I tell about my PVF as they are quick to judge and just expect me to "harden up".

Try to find time to rest, rest even if you dont think you need to.
Find something that you really enjoy doing, do something for you!! I think as parents we always put our kids first anyway.
Give the twins jobs to do that can help your out, kids love helping mummy!! and its rewarding for you all.
Talking from the heart, soothes the soul......Ive found talking helps ALOT!!!!!!
Day care of Playcentre??

Its a hard road, made even harder when you have little ones to care for too, take care, feel free to message me if you need to talk.

[sarah84]

Hi.

I'm new to the forums, but your post caught my eye. Two year old twins are probably as tough as it gets childcare wise (except for twin babies). I have three children and I'm grateful that they are all of school age. Even so there have been days when I have somehow managed to collect them from school then gone straight to bed and been able to hear them arguing, but unable to get out of bed to intervene. They have basically had to look after themselves until their dad gets home from work and cooks dinner and sorts them out.

If you are as ill as I have been you are in no state to look after twin toddlers. You must accept this and work out who is going to care for them. If relatives and friends can't help then you will need to arrange childcare. I know this is expensive, but it would be awful if something happened to them (e.g. injury) because you were unable to look after them properly. Be realistic about your limitations and can your husband or friends/relatives take and fetch from childcare so that you don't have to do it.

I have found my friends very sympathetic to my illness and now have rotas of people collecting them from school for me on different days. With better pacing of my activities I am now able to prepare a simple meal in the evening and sit down and eat it with my kids whilst discussing their day (this is something I really missed when I was at my worst). We have just had half term and I have had help from friends, my mum and my husband. If I had been at home on my own with the kids they would have had a miserable time and I would have finished the week more exhausted than I started. We have also just employed a cleaner. This helps me to rest whilst the kids are at school and takes some of the pressure off my husband.

Good luck. It is hard to plan when you don't know how long you will feel like this, but if you put a plan in place that can last a few months it will take the pressure off you and this may help you to recover sooner.